Little.Fish.

I am excited to join up with The Nester & participate in the 31.days. writing challenge!  I am going to write about being a...

I am excited to see where this takes me.  Thanks for reading!

31 Days: Little.Fish. (added to include my links!)

Welcome!  If you're looking for an easy link for my first #31days writing challenge, here you go.  ;-)  In October 2013, I was wrestling with the idea of embracing smallness, when the desire to be 'big' tempted me to become malcontented.  The struggle against 'seeking fame' or 'being known' by others is real, and balancing that with the call to 'realize your own personal potential' is difficult.  I attacked this by writing about being a 'little fish' in the following variety of ways.  The struggle to accept the small (me) with open hands & enjoy the good gifts I've been given in this, my one life.  I do not desire my own fame, but do desire to use what the Lord gives me as a good steward.  I think one way to do that is to write & share it, and press in&on through the different seasons.

I hope you enjoy these little pieces of myself - lots of confession & repentance & restoration for my soul, in the baring.  Thank you!

2. Content to be a Little.Fish?
3. Little.Fish. by comparison?
4. Little.Fish. in an ocean.
5. funny Little.Fish.
6. Little.Fish. swimming with sharks
7. a Little.Fish. can encourage
8. an ((invisible)) Little.Fish.
9. a Little.Fish. with a rebellious heart
10. this Little.Fish. is Tired
11. a Little.Fish. with a big mouth
12. a Little.Fish, all dried up
13. Little.Fish, humbled
14. a strong Little.Fish.
15. this Little.Fish. likes to dance
16. this Little.Fish. loves to sing
17. Little.Fish, washed by the water
18. a Little.Fish. in a world of beauty
19. Little.Fish, who drags her feet
20. my Little.Fish. growing big&big
21. Little.Fish. swimming in a school
22. Little.Fish. swimming in a school [part 2]
23. a Little.Fish, on assignment
24. an anxious Little.Fish.
25. 6.months.old
26. a Little.Fish. in a little pond
27. an imperfect Little.Fish.
28. a Little.Fish. with gifts
29. Little.Fish. in a maze
30. Little.Fish signing off

Fear.of.Failure & furniture re-dos

There are things that I don't try to do because I don't know how to get started.  or I think it will be too hard.  or cost too much.  or take too much time.  But thankfully, sometimes I just get the right opportunity & encouragement at the right time.  I am so grateful for some antique bookcases from my grandmother's house to give me the kick start I needed to try out some furniture re-dos. ((Yellow was pre-excisting, one coat liquid sander to clean&tone down, distress))

James was so excited about his new bookcase in his room that he couldn't sleep because he couldn't quit reading books... I suppose that's not the worst thing. ((this one is next up to be painted))

I went for it with this one.  I am so thankful for my sweet neighbor who showed me how she approaches her painting projects & really helped me shake the worry of 'messing it up'.   Sometimes you just gotta try & go for it & take the first step.  isn't getting started the hardest part?  ((one coat liquid sander, one coat red overall, 2nd coat on top, sides, and shelf bottoms))

I grew up with this bookcase in my house & I was hesitant about redoing it.  But I'm so happy with how it turned out.  I hope my Hayden loves his new bookcase too.  ;-)

I have had this high chair since Hayden's 1st birthday, just over a year.  with the intention to repaint it blue.  and now I have done it!!  This one presented a unique challenge because it needed a polyurethane coat to keep it safe for Calvin to eat from the tray.  Again, I've never attempted anything like this, and normally wouldn't.  But, feeling the success from the red bookcase, I decided to go for it.  I think it turned out pretty nice.  ((two coats liquid sander, one coat gray paint, one coat blue, distress, one coat poly overall, 2nd coat on seat & tray top))

I am a novice on the sewing machine.  But, I wanted to make a little seat belt for Calvin to use in his high chair while he's still pretty little.  Because its antique, it doesn't have any of the modern safety features, but the beauty of it make up for any & all shortcomings.  So I went for it.  I bought a set of standard pillow shams made of a quilted material & adapted the pattern to fit my material constraints.  ((cut in half, one side for seat bottom, one side split for 'belt', small connector piece, fastens closed with velcro sewn on))  Would highly recommend using two separate pieces, cutting accordingly, but this seemed to be a less expensive option although a bit of a challenge to piece together (because I saved the seems as much as I could). 

Baby tested & big bro approved.  Its gonna work out well.  Sometimes, you just get up the nerve & go for it!!  Fear of failing can keep you from succeeding too.  Just go for it!

5.months.old.

My 5.month.old baby.  

He seriously is the cutest thing.  such a quiet little guy- easy going & happy.  He gave me a run for my money this past month by NOT sleeping through the night anymore but instead waking every 2-3 hours.  Oh.Baby.Boy.

I had to put my boy in his two piece pjs & almost cried.  He's so cute in them, but its just so hard to pack up baby clothes with no expectation to use them again.  I'm so grateful that he's growing & healthy, so I have remembered to count those blessings.  and that helps.

I cannot tell you how fun it is to have two of my boys match in their pjs.  James & Hayden get such a kick out of it when they have matching pjs, but its preciously cute to have Hayden & Calvin matching.  Makes.mommy.happy.

He is really enjoying his jumper.  His big bros love showing him all the toys he can play with & he can watch them as they play trains & cars & blocks.

little Cal in working on his push up & has started to roll over, & over, & over...  I can't be sure that he'll stay where I put him to play anymore.

This baby & his bath time.  he loves it.  and he's just really.cute.

Little.Bro.  My favorite thing: watching your baby giggles when your big brothers try to make you smile.  Love how it makes them laugh, and you laugh, and them laugh...  seriously though: James (and Hayden too, but less often) won't let you sit and cry.  He is determined to take care of 'his baby'.  He asked me the other morning to let go of you, so he could 'rock his baby'.  haha, he just adores you.  And Hayden won't be left out- either James is just setting a great example, or he enjoys trying to take care of you too.  No paci is left unattended around big bro Hayden! ..."here ya go mommy..."

Can you please sleep maybe as a 5 month old??  ;-)

Smiley baby, you light up my life.  and I'm crazy curious to see how BIG you are! **dropped in at the pediatrician to get a weight & you were 16 lbs 9 oz with your clothes & wet diaper on, so I'm going to call it 16 lbs, 5 oz for fun.  ;-)

Mimi&Grandpa's --snapshots--

We have had a great few trips down to Mimi&Grandpa's.  These boys got to have their first boat trip for a little fishin' in the rain.  Didn't let it stop them. 

Mimi&Grandpa - little baby Calvin could just eat you up.

I love seeing the older 3 Prose grandsons all in a group.  It is such a special thing to have a cousin just about the same age.

Hayden & Calvin snuggles.  "Peeze I hold baby Calvin, Mommy?  Peeze you put him in my lap??"

4.Prose.Grandsons.  Best I could get from our 3.5 yr old, 2.5 yr old, 2 yr old, & 4 month old.

The next trip we were able to celebrate our Nana's 80th birthday!!  We were able to visit with some of the Prose's cousins' kiddos.  + one 7 yr old, 4 yr old, &  2 yr old.  It was so nice to get a chance to catch up because they live out of state.

My boys & their funny faces.

Till next time Mimi&Grandpa's!!

Dr. Austin

My little sis finished her PhD in molecular genetics from The Ohio State University.  So we threw a party in her honor.  By far, the cutest little buckeye was baby Cal.

Getting your PhD is kind of a big deal, so we wanted to make kind of a big deal about it.  We are proud of you Dr. Christina!!

We were able to have Mo Leverett come and give us a private concert.  my James LOVED it.  He has not stopped telling us to sit and watch him sing&play his guitar.  Mo, you have truly inspired!

Auntie Christina, we are proud of you!! Best of luck in the next phase of life, deeper in & further on...  ;-)

God's.Varied.Grace.

Strangely, I have always thought that having a 'life verse' was an odd thing.  I have never really felt one verse hit me right between.the.eyes & just reading this one, was just a wonderful epiphany.  I have struggled to get a handle on what all I'm called to do in this life, but I trust that its been prepared for me to do, Ephesians 2:10.

But this verse.

"As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace"

I Peter 4:10

So that is what I'm seeking to do with this one life I've been given.  To serve & be a good steward of God's varied grace given to me.

I've struggled since becoming a mother - I don't know why God has chosen to bless me.  Why I have the best husband & my boys are healthy & whole & here with me.  I have felt this most profoundly while mourning with friends who have buried babies.  Praying for friends still waiting on their husband or wife.  Hoping with friends who are waiting for babies to come.  Mourning with those who have lost their spouse or parent.  Why does the Lord give & why does he take away?

One song that has spoken to me: Sara Groves' song, 'Open My Hands'

I believe in a blessing I don't understand

I've seen rain fall on the wicked and the just

RAIN is no measure of HIS FAITHFULNESS

he withholds no good thing from us

I believe in a peace that flows deeper than pain

the broken find healing in love

PAIN is no measure of HIS FAITHFULNESS

he withholds no good thing from us

Psalm 84:11 says just that.  & it just resonates so deeply in my heart that his faithfulness cannot be measured by how life 'appears' in the present.  My God is amazing because he can work good in the midst of the bad.

So my life verse: to be a good steward of God's varied grace TO ME.  I have been given.good.gifts.  and I hope that I can continue to serve those in my life with the unique talents that I possess.  I can't know why, but I don't want to take it for granted.  Thank you Lord, for you have richly blessed me beyond what I deserve.

a goal.

living life with a goal sometimes makes even the hottest, muggiest, weariest morning into one where I actually go out for a run.  My big guy in preschool gives me the small window of opportunity where I can take my double jogger out with my middle & little guys, and I can get my run in.  Does it feel a little crazy compared to my preferred activity of having-a-cup-of-coffee and reading-my-devotional?  Yes.

But something about having a small goal in a world where so much of the time is spent in the tasks of family life feels so refreshing.  Very little of how I spend my time can be evaluated or measured.  Mothering my children is one of the greatest blessings in my life & I can't image doing anything else while my children are still in diapers.  However, taking some time to get out & be active is more than just 'me time'.  I think that showing my boys that momma can be athletic is cool.  I think that they LOVE going on runs, but I'm not sure really why.  I think maybe its as good for them as it is for me.  Peace & QUIET & solitude.

Beauty all around us & time for my mind to just function uninterrupted.

I am writing this during a week off from running.  Between family in town & getting my house put back to normal & weekend plans, I just didn't have the guts to go out in the heat of the 4-5 pm opportunity that I had.  I'm looking forward to more Fall weather, more time to get out & run, and more nights of good sleep to boost my confidence & strength.

Thank you Lord for the health & fitness & opportunity to run.  Thank you for the peace of mind & body that comes from a little solitude during our chaotic, toddler days.  Thank you for the satisfaction in the accomplishment of a small goal.  Thank you for providing me encouragement from friends, near & far.  Thank you for using it Lord, to build me up.

4.months.old.

Oh happy day Calvin!!  Your brothers are so happy for you to be 4 months old.  ;-)

You and your daddy get to have little chats now that you're 4 months.

'yeah, I can hold my head up.'

'I roll over all the time now.'

'My brothers make me laugh'

'My fingers & toes really taste great'

My.little.buddy.  4 month old check up: 15 lbs 1 oz & 26 inches long!!  I'm going to have to pack up your 3-6 month size clothes already & I could just cry!  I'm so glad you are growing 'big&big' as James would say.  Keep up the good work buddy - and if you can, please go back to sleeping through the night?  This new skill of rolling over & all this growin' is really keeping you up at night apparently.  But these days are going by fast enough already, so take your time buddy.  ;-)

loVe.

I love watching my boys play Super Hayden & Super James and zooooooom around and around and around....

I love watching my boys enJOY each other as they play.  I love how amazingly TALL James looks & how TINY Calvin looks.

I love my naked Hayden telling me to stop taking his picture when he's got the playroom to himself & all momma's attention.

I love how cute Hayden looks with bangs.  It has taken his hair a long time to come in all the way... I think we are still waiting!

I love Calvin's little old man mullet.

I love how my hubs can push all 3 of his boys in the buggy.

I love all these waving hands.

I love little faces pressed to the glass watching dolphins swim.

I love eyes full of wonder.

I love fresh hair cuts.  These 2 faces, so many things to love, to be counted as blessing, gift.  Thank you Lord for your gifts, you are good.  so good.