|My 3 little.fishes. Cheeks anyone??|
When I see someone else who has what I think I want- I compare. What do they have that I lack? Style? Grace? Athleticism? Fame? Achievement? Notoriety?
How do I attain what it is that I desire? Is the pursuit of any of these goals in and of itself vain? I believe that the Lord has given us measures, each his own portion. Has he not laid out this life? Does anything happen that is not within & under & submissive to his control & will? Should I not ask & seek as he provides? But what are those things truly worth in the kingdom of God?
Even in doing the 'work' of this life, those 'good works' that he has set ahead for me to do, I can lose sight of Christ- become engrossed with the achievement or fame. What a trap! It is so easy to take our eyes off of the One who makes everything meaningful, everyone meaningful. Without our Lord, none of it matters- none of it is worthwhile. It reminds me of Ecclesiastes - meaningless without Christ; this life only finds purpose, hope, joy in seeking Him alone.
I am a Little.Fish. by comparison to most. in most arenas. In my heart I know I long to matter- to have a life that stands apart & glorifies myself. That is my vanity. If the Lord calls me to a life of namelessness, then may I praise him in it!! Maybe that deep longing in my heart can refocus to seeing the glory of the Lord & bringing Him glory with this one life - my vapor - may I continue to be refined, renewed & transformed so that I may not seek & desire my own fame or glory, but His.
I thank you Lord for the gift you have given me with these words & I pray that one day my boys may read them & hear my heart - bare & open & honest - and see that 'achievement' does not bring satisfaction in this life, only you Lord, only Christ can give the peace to a heart broken by comparison to others. May they know your voice & hear your call to find peace as a Little.Fish. because you, Lord, You are the only BIG.Fish.