Thursday, October 10, 2013

a Little.Fish. with a big mouth.

I should have saved my 'tired fish' post for today.  My boys were all up last night at various times & I am plum worn out this morning.  an hour or two of sleep is just devastating for me.  Coincidently, another of the #31days bloggers, Jessi at Naptime Diaries wrote on being Wild & Free to rest.  It makes me smile to see how Meredith, myself, and Jessi all wrote on the same topic back-to-back-to-back days.  But the Lord gave each one of us a different bit to say, and I was better off for reading theirs!

My point being: rest is so important to give your family your best.  This morning, my potty-trained boy randomly peed all over my kitchen.  My 1 or 2 hours of sleep last night left me so vulnerable for my big.mouth. to get in the way.  I was surprised at the sounds screaming from my mouth.  I knew the words weren't the problem, he needed to go right to the bathroom, potty & change.  But how they came out?? yiiikes.

But failure gives the opportunity to admit it, ask for forgiveness, and move forward together.  I sat my boy down, after all was cleaned up & done, and we talked about it.  Was it good to pee pee on the kitchen floor?  nope.  When he wakes up in the morning, he needs to remember to potty & not forget.  yes.  But mommy shouldn't have yelled, that wasn't nice.  nope.  Do you forgive me?  yes.  Do you have anything to say to mommy too?  Sorry mommy, and I forgive you too.

Mommy has a big mouth.  and these little guys see it & hear it & copy it.  After my outburst this am, I had to sit down with Hayden to discuss the yelling again, and yet again.  monkey see, monkey do.

This Little.Fish. has a hard time taming my tongue.  I can be swept away by the injustice I see in this world - politically, socially, locally, nationally, personally.  There are a few things that really get my heart pumping & strike that chord in my spirit.  Why do I take my thoughts to friends or even facebook for all to see?  Is it a cry to be heard?  for understanding in the midst of so much confusion & frustration?  What do I accomplish by venting frustrations; do I become 'justified' in my outrage when someone else agrees with me?  May I then continue on in that frame of mind?

Can I stop there?  

"Finally, brothers and sisters,  whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, 
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -
if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."  Philippians 4:8

I'm grateful that our Lord is in charge.  I should take my hurts & worry & burdens & cares and cast them on Him.  I should pray first, and not seek my own wisdom first.

"Praise be to the name of God forever and ever;
wisdom and power are his.
He changes times and seasons;
he deposes kings and raises others up.
He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning."  Daniel 2:20-21

My God is a righteous judge.  I am not.  My God is in control of all that happens.  I am not.  Do I feel I am adding anything to my life by worry?  certainly not.  If my God is in charge, and he will call all into account in the end, then who am I to play judge?  Is my God not big enough to handle it?

Lord forgive me for running my mouth.  Help me to seek your discernment more when sharing my thoughts with others.  Tame my tongue & use it for your glory, to give thanks in all circumstances.  In spite of injustice.  Show me what I can DO for others where words fall flat.  Give me vision & mission to fight injustice for your name's sake.  and if not, then help me give it up to you.  You are in charge, I am not.  Let me seek & serve, and not just talk.  amen.

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