Wednesday, October 9, 2013

this Little.Fish. is TIRED

I am tired.  Today, my brain just hurts as I type this.  Why?  I'm not really sure, but it probably has something to do with not sleeping a full 8 hours in who knows how long.  But I'm not going to complain; my 3 boy are worth every sleepless night.

These little guys have kept me on my toes lately.  I love these different stages, but the challenge of discipline for a 3.5 year old & a 2 year old is DAUNTING to say the least.   There have been those days recently when my hubs & I look at each other at the end of the day and without a word understand the expression on the other's face: EXHAUSTED.

**Do not worry, he did NOT fall. although I know this looks precarious**

We are able to get out for an adventure every now & again.  It is our favorite thing to do as a family.  Since my hubs & I rarely go on dates alone anymore, I like to call these 'family dates' where we go & do & eat out.  The car is a magical zone for us where the boys are almost always quiet & content.  I know that's not always the case, but for the majority of the time, especially when we are tired, going on a drive is a gift.

Ft. Clinch, Fernandina Beach, FL

I think that being tried makes all of life harder.  I know for my boys, my number 1 go-to for how to fix toddler tantrums is sleep.  early bedtimes.  in James' case, naptime is a battle I'm willing to fight for our sanity's sake.  I know they struggle to have any emotional capacity at all when they are tired or hungry. They are 'normally' very sweet boys.  wild & crazy.  but absolutely the apple of my eye!  If you see or hear them when they are tired or hungry, you would never.guess. how sweet their temperaments truly are.

telling each other secrets.  Hayden hasn't quite understood how this works.

For myself, running around tired makes my life fodder for the smallest spark to set it on fire.  Suddenly, everything is a BIG DEAL and all my reactions are extreme.  It is such an exercise in patience & the Lord's refining fire for me to go through my day bone-tired and still be kind & encouraging & willing to enter into their play.  It's easy to skip story time or rush through lunch so I can have a break.  It's hard to feel the burn in your eyes & not give into anger - but remain quick to listen & slow to speak.

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry."  James 1:19

favorite part: secret passage!

One thing that I that I have learned from Ann Voskamp is that, "Life is not an emergency."  I laugh at myself for living my life like it WAS an emergency when James was a baby.  Every immediate need could be considered 'crisis' and I think how much I've been challenged there.  I know now, after having more kids, that needs can only be met  Life is not an emergency. Meet each need, with a cheerful heart, without expectation of perfection.

watching the ships come in

Isn't it beautiful how in our weakness, His strength can shine through better?  Maybe in my own tired state, I am able to lean on Jesus more.  Maybe it is blessing disguised as curse.  Thank you Lord for absolutely  Fill me up with more of you?!