Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Day 13: When I feel like the teacher is too hard on my son...

     As a teacher, I saw many students whose parents were protective & a few who had an elevated opinion of their child.  Most parents know their child's character in high school, and few seemed surprised to hear of a child's behavior.  There is always the exception, such as the case of the parents who 'didn't believe' their child had plagiarized the internet, but for the most part, parents know.  They may not always be pleased with their child's behavior, but they know.

     As a mother, I have found myself in the awkward position, right out of the gate, of being a parent who feels the teacher doesn't understand my son.  Maybe she didn't get a chance to evaluate how sensitive he is, or it is possible that she doesn't realize how much he desires to please her with his behavior.  I know he takes getting in trouble, even for very minor disruptions seriously, and I wish I could somehow impart to her that she can make it easier on both of them if she was gentler.

     Of course, I realize how funny it seems for me to try & explain my son's character to his teacher who doesn't yet know him.  She is operating in a standard procedure function, and she isn't making allowances for anyone (most likely).  Temperament is not necessarily considered by all teacher, and I have no idea if she does consider it.

There is nothing wrong with treating all students the same, but the definition of 'fair' treatment is inherently unequal.  In education, 'fair' means what is most appropriate for the success of each student.  I think as young as the students are in kindergarten, it would be appropriate to handle them delicately.  My opinion on approach is obviously not a universally applied one.

    There was one morning that I volunteered at school were I asked two of the other moms of girls in the same class as my son how they were doing.  I was curious to see if the transition was difficult for everyone & if their daughters had been disciplined in a similar manner.  They told me, because of their experience with older children in school, that it was better 'not to coddle them' because 'first grade is no joke'.  While I do not desire for my son to be caught off guard by the expectations of first grade, I would like to ask, "when did school get to be so hard?"  It does not surface in my memories.

     As for me, I am trying hard not to be the parent who isn't seeing the reality of their child & his abilities.  I am not saying my kid is a genius, although he may be; however, I am saying that it hurts my momma heart to see him struggle.  I am so thankful that he's found the right groove in the last few weeks, and that these first painful weeks at school are hopefully behind us.  I fully expect more difficulties ahead, although I admit I have not a clue what to anticipate.  I think that is when I circle back to trusting the Lord & trying not to control it all.  Lord, help me trust.


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