the waiting game.

They say the end of pregnancy is playing the waiting game... and boy did we play.it.  (even on the day he was born)  I feel so grateful for my amazing husband&boys who were so good to me & for me while we waited.

My 'big boys' played for over an hour that morning at their train table after Daddy found 4 new trains at a garage sale - and mommy sat. and watched. and enjoyed.

We are so lucky to have humming birds nesting in the trees behind out house & the visit us.  Their tiny bodies & wings so fast & thin little tongues.  very peaceful to watch.  Our favorites we have named 'Tigey' and 'Lightening McQueen'.

My husband just loved me in so many tangible ways.  He cleaned the dishes & ran the dishwasher.

He took the boys on 'big adventures' down to the lake & around the neighborhood.

He found a great little flower stand to bring me home a little bit of beauty.  He was amazing - in the midst of not really always knowing how to help me physically feel better, he found so many ways to lift my spirit & show me love.  I am truly blessed.

Did I mention that he even made me waffles one morning??  how did I get so lucky.

My sweet James - I asked him to help Hayden put on his shoes for me.  I was really curious to see if he could & I am now realizing how much he can do when I give him the chance.  What a fun way to see your oldest growing right before your eyes - rising to the challenge of new tasks with excitement & joy.  He was saying... "alright Hayden, you just sit right there, and you just put your toes in first..."

These two would come in and snuggle mommy in bed & have cartoons.  What a tough life.  ;-)  but, so very sweet & easy on momma.

We had our share of times to laugh at how crazy & messy & silly our days were.

and the sink didn't always stay clean & the toys didn't always get picked up & the projects were in progress in the yard.  We stayed busy.

and Daddy was covered in dirt for this sprinkler system repair.  which is always a good time for the boys to watch from the windows... "why is daddy in the ground?"

I also have to just to say sitting & soaking in some of Beth Moore's study on Esther - Anne Voskamp's new devotional - www.shereadstruth.com & their daily devotional on YouVersion - my pandora station of All Sons and Daughters - these kept my mind centered & heart thankful.  So many things in life are painful & hard & burdensome & mentally heavy - I just hope my boys can read this one day and know where their mommy went for courage & strength & patience.  I would be a terrible mom without Jesus.

I must also acknowledge all the sweet gifts & things that came in my mailbox which made my waiting days exciting. ;-)

 My 'big boys' - such troopers for mommy.  Can't wait to see you BOTH taking on the big brother role!

The last few days of carrying.

Carrying our baby.boy.number.three. was a tough job.  I really loved being pregnant with our 1st: but it was pretty difficult to not be afraid of so many unknowns & the smallest pains or incidents felt huge.  I was so thrilled to be pregnant with our 2nd: but chasing a toddler & having to lift him was hard.work.  The end of that pregnancy felt like torture with all the false labor & no wonder it felt that way because he was 9 lbs 11oz. Oi.  I would be dishonest if I said anything but I was again thrilled, overjoyed to be pregnant with out 3rd: but this one was by far the most difficult.

Our 1st trimester:  We moved from Charlotte & were staying at my parents' while we house hunted & closed on our new home.  I was sick - sick - sick.  Having 2, 2 yrs & under was quite the challenge, and we weren't even in our own home.  Then of course, it was unpacking, settling in, getting the house organized & in order while sick & pregnant & 2 toddlers.  Challenging is the word I will choose.

Our 2nd trimester:  I kept hoping for the energy kick- to clean house & really get everything settled.  We transitioned Hayden from the paci & into the toddler bed & James worked on getting the potty training finished & turned 2 yrs old.  But we made friends quickly & had lots of playdates at the house were I didn't have to go far when I didn't feel well.

Our 3rd trimester: Yes, challenging.  extremely.  We found out our little buddy was breech at our 36 week ultrasound to check on his weight (since Hayden was so big) - we were surprised to say the least. We were scheduled for an external cephalic version (which means they flip him from the outside of my tummy), and went in two days later & PRAISE.THE.LORD. they were able to flip him.  Here is a pic of my 'breech baby' belly.  No wonder he carried so much differently.

I did try all kids of inversions & sitting on the exercise ball to help him turn with no success.  So, we got everything ready for him just in case we had to have the emergency c-section.  Washed his bed & all his new little clothes & packed our bag.

Breech baby belly VS. head down baby belly!! I felt so.much.better. after he had flipped.  My heartburn almost disappeared & I was able to rest better.  Until my early labor kicked in.  I was in early labor for over a week this time.  whew, thank you Lord for your protection & sustaining me.

The last few days of carrying Calvin.  Very challenging - but you were worth it my precious boy.  We finished setting up your room... which I.love.  It is funny, but I love your room so much more now with you in it.

We got your lovies monogrammed & after that we were ready.  ;-)  bags packed & ready to meet you.

 This I took the morning of the day you were born, little buddy.  39 weeks even...

Easter 2013

He is Risen!! and we will celebrate!!

Thank you Lord for your death & resurrection.  Thank you for the chance to celebrate & share you with our boys & family & friends.  Thank you Lord for the time spent with family & the sweet pictures of our boys.  Thank you Lord for the gift & Thank you for your sacrifice.  Help us to live this life as you would have us live & thank you for forgiving us all our failures.  grace.grace.grace. you pour over our lives.

Spring.time.

We have been working on our LONG list of spring cleaning: yard work & repairs & house cleaning & baby prep.  whew- this spring will definitely top the charts for busy in our books, but praise the Lord we have had lots of quiet time as well.  I sometimes think I must be given a special gift on days when my normal 1.5-2 hr afternoon nap time = rest time for me is extended to 2.5-3 hours!  Isn't it good that the Lord knows what we need??

Our little helper: tongue out - little wheel barrow - raking leaves & hauling them to the street with daddy.

 I.love.this.  Yes, cowboy boots & pjs.

One step of our clean out... couldn't believe these ferns growing at least 2 feet over the concrete... woah.  Can't wait for them all to be gone.

Little guys playing trucks diggin' in the dirt.  Do you think we need a sandbox?? haha- James tells me that his trucks have nothing to scoop.  ;-)

Early Spring treat: day at the beach where the trucks can scoop to the boys hearts' content.  haha- St. Patrick's Day green & surprise photo op with a kind stranger.  Oh.humility.  Pregnancy is so unglamorous.  But the opportunity to give your body for the good&growth of another is a beautiful image.  This body is being used for good & I am so encouraged by the idea that the sacrifice is Christ-like.  Happy to use this vessel & grateful for the chance to be used.

My sweet husband took us all to one of our favorite 'date spots' in St. Augustine when we were first getting to know each other.  We laughed: it's been 10 years this summer since we worked at Crossroads.  7 Since we've been married & now 3 little boys have/will be join us in this.  Family date after beach time was just as special & maybe even more romantic than our solo dates way back when...

I mean this face...

I love this man.  Can't believe how great a daddy he is- what a wonderful partner & how he loves me.  grace.grace.grace. blessing.undeserved.

 Oh little hair cut #2 in prep for baby bro & Easter 2013.  Could just eat him up!!  Mr. Sandy blond / golden haired / strawberry brunette.

 and this.  I so love his 'McDreamy' hair but when it's all cut clean&neat I could just swoon.  little.man.

Best time of the day: when daddy comes home.

Best part of the day for mommy: peaceful brother time collaboration.

Love seeing their size contrast & how alike they are.  Monkey see, Monkey do.

and yes, we spend a lot of time in our pjs these days.  but these days are fleeting & I wouldn't change it for the world.