Friday, November 15, 2013

just a few days over 30...

I celebrated my 30th birthday this month, and it has been a strange mental step to take, but a perfectly easy physical step.

my handsome date

my party at home with my family

sneak attack!

Grammy & Papa are so much fun.

Papa & his littlest namesake

These boys LOVE to wrestle their Papa

I love my life & my husband & my boys.  I wouldn't trade anything.  I wouldn't change any of my days.  I feel blessed to not be in charge of the number of my days.  I believe it helps me to be more grateful for what is given, and not look for what's expected.

I've decided that 30 feels foreign to me because I have little to no expectation for what 30 brings.  I have had the awkward feeling even through my 20s that as each birthday came after my college graduation, that there was no 'graduation' or 'next grade' or clear stepping stone for life.  It is truly strange for someone who loves the familiarity & comfort of grade promotion to mark my years & create emotional triggers for my memory to hold.  Sort of the 'now what?' question for what comes next.

I get the idea of quarter-life crisis, funny enough.

But at least I did have some ideas of what my 20s would be: graduate from Clemson, get married, start my career teaching, start our family.  I didn't know I'd be lucky enough to be able to stay home with my kids.  I didn't know how truly amazing that decade would be & how unimaginable the changes are from 20 to 30 are in hindsight.  It does kind of boggle my mind that I met my husband shortly after my 20th birthday & the rest of the decade was only up from there.

What will 30s bring for me?  I don't have any specific goals for my 30s.  Don't suppose I'll have any more babies in my 30s.  Don't forsee any relocations or moves (yet, haha).  I may go back to work when my boys all start school, but that will be 5 years from now.  When I finish my 30s, my boys will be 10, 12 & almost 14.  ((holy smokes - I am not ready for that!!))

What a different life it will be.  I'm nervous about how much will change, but at least I can be here, right now.  I can crawl in bed for snuggles with my 2 year old & almost 4 year old.  I can breath in deep & hug tight & smother my 6 month old with kisses.

I have changed dramatically in the last 10 years.  I hope I can say the same in the next 10!  In the best possible way I think these days are reshaping me & making me more like Christ.  and for that I am the most thankful.

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