Wednesday, October 1, 2014

eyes.to.See - self.control.

     I'd like to start by saying how un-expert I am in the arena of 'parenting advice'.  None of my writing this month is meant to do more than challenge myself & be an encouragement to others to listen for the Lord's voice or His gentle leading in any of these topics.  I pray that my heart will be doing so much WORK while walking through how to raise up my sons & impart these key lessons early in their lives.

SELF.CONTROL.

The first place to start...
"Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self control."
Proverbs 25:28

   We need self.control.  It is a defense for us; without it, we are vulnerable to attack, invasion!  My sons need self.control. for their good, for their safety, for their protection.  

How can I teach this lesson?  How can I model self.control. when our tempers run high & patience runs low?  At our house, our boys lose their tempers, all the time, every day.  Especially when they are overtired (and the same is true for their momma!).  I know that self.control. can take many forms, but for me, I think teaching my boys how to stay in control of their emotions has been very difficult.  But why would I be surprised?  How many adults in this world are really in control of their own emotions, including myself??  I am guilty as well, but seeing this need in my boys as pushed me to see the need in myself.  

So, when I've asked 5 times for the legos to get picked up, and shouted from the other room my continued expectation for the clean-up, how can I teach my boy self.control?  I enter in to his space - I don't stay in the other room.  I don't lose my own temper, I breath deep & think specifically.  "ok, first no more building legos.  Building legos is playing, putting them away means not playing with them now."  and I stay.  It is not convenient.  It tempts me to anger & frustration.  But if I stay I can continue to encourage, to direct, to support his work, his efforts.  Self.control. to him would be choosing obedience as well, listening & choosing to do as I ask, each time he would rather be building something.  It is tough!!

When I lose my temper, I do not demonstrate love or any other of the fruits of the spirit.  When I let myself be ruled by my own emotion, instead of living self.control. then I am guilty.  When they forget to use inside voices & forget all our house rules & the chaos becomes a catalyst for my blood pressure to rise... I must be first to show how to gain control.  And sometimes that takes failure first - and sometimes that takes prayer first.  But graciously, the Lord meets me, failure or not.

Father God, please teach me how to have self.control.  Teach me more so I can teach my sons.  Give me wisdom to show them & patience to repeat it.  Lord make us more like you.  Amen.

eyes.to.See - my 31 days of writing

     Welcome!  I am looking forward to writing this month on lessons I'm learning from motherhood & childhood, and I'm calling it...


     I am continually surprised how the lessons I'm teaching my sons as they walk through this life are actually lessons for me.  When I have to really dig deep, take apart all the pieces of something that seems small, it is not small anymore.  Self-control for example.  How do you teach a 3 & 4 year old self control?  Do I even have self control, or exercise it appropriately??  That is what I'm talking about.  The moment when I begin to see how my own LACK of self control magnified in the mirror of my children.  Great place to begin!

"But you have God-blessed eyes - eyes that see!  
And God-blessed ears - ears that hear!
A lot of people, prophets and humble believers among them, would have given anything to see what you are seeing, to hear what you are hearing, but never had the chance."
Matthew 13:16-17 The Message

     It is easy to move through our everyday, normal days and pass by opportunities without even realizing it.  I cling to the mindset that if I pay attention, notice the gifts & chances the Lord gives each day, that I will stop, take it in, and savor it.  (please read Ann Voskamp if you haven't, the Lord has blessed me through her)  The time for teaching & correction is dynamic, changing as the boys grow up.  I am so grateful for the Lord to teach me as I seek to teach.

     I am expectant - I am sitting on the edge of my seat for the month of October & the opportunity to take this writing challenge for the second time with The Nester.  I cannot.wait. to walk through these 'simple' lessons that I've been learning, and re-teaching, and re-learning with my sons.  I am continually amazed at how 'simplicity' and 'complexity' can coexist in all the 'life lessons' I strive to impart.  Join me in asking the Lord for eyes.to.See and ears to hear?

((Follow along using links from this main post, but also?  Go check out the others writing at write31days.com & I will be following along with some of my favs as well!!  Cannot wait.))

1. eyes.to.See - self.control.
2. eyes.to.See - obedience
3. eyes.to.See - diligence
4. eyes.to.See - JOY
5. eyes.to.See - patience
6. eyes.to.See - courage
7. eyes.to.See - servanthood
8. eyes.to.See - regret
9. eyes.to.See - wonder
10. eyes.to.See - forgiveness
11. eyes.to.See - kindness
12. eyes.to.See - friendship
13. eyes.to.See - brotherly.love.
14. eyes.to.See - truth
15. eyes.to.See - selfishness
16. eyes.to.See - submission
17. eyes.to.See - hospitality
18. eyes.to.See - generosity
19. eyes.to.See - justice
20. eyes.to.See - give.thanks.
21. eyes.to.See - perseverance
22. eyes.to.See - growth
23. eyes.to.See - peace
24. eyes.to.See - gentleness
25. eyes.to.See - faithfulness
26. eyes.to.See - goodness
27. eyes.to.See - wrestle
28. eyes.to.See - power
29. eyes.to.See - practice
30. eyes.to.See - wisdom
31. eyes.to.See - life.lessons.or.faith.lessons?

Thank you!

Monday, September 29, 2014

September in Review...

September!  We welcomed September by starting our James in Tball for the first time!  We have been looking forward to beginning this journey into the world of sports for our sons, and here.we.are.  I think I almost burst from my giddy, surreal moments.  Definitely one of my favorite memories of this Fall for sure.


James has a pretty fun cheering section when we all go out to watch practice, but it is kinda tough on younger brothers who have to watch from the sideline.  Soon enough boys, it will be your turn! (ps. momma isn't quite ready for everybody to be in just yet ;-)


The best part of the first practice: James learning to run the bases, which of course is something you learn.  1st, 2nd, (back to first??) no, run to 3rd!  He was having the best time & even cheered on his teammates when they threw or batted.  Our encourager, James.

Hayden did have a hard time not getting to play this time, but he's been a great sport about it.  He has found ways to entertain himself & he's learning the basics just from watching!  He'll be all set to play next year, and boy will that be a treat!


Hayden made a friend too. ;-)


My boy Calvin & I have had some lovely mornings together this month, just the two of us.  We are getting used to having the quieter moments, but he has started to drop his morning nap.  So momma is taking this guy all over doing errands & playdates, and going on runs, but he has to have a nap still every few days to catch up.  There could not be a sweeter little toddler though, he is such a joy.


I saw this quote from Jim Elliot this month, and it stuck out to me.  I sometimes find myself thinking things should be a certain way, or the way I envision will happen, eventually.  And then I am reminded that if it doesn't turn out as I had imagined, that means is simply.is.not.  Lord help me from feeling entitled to things that you do not give, and forgive me when I do!


I was completely.excited. to be invited to attend a baby shower for a dear former student of mine! (I really did feel as if I could burst with joy) She has become a sweet friend, whom I haven't seen in years, and I cannot wait for her to experience motherhood & all it brings.  She & her husband are welcoming a baby girl the end of next month!  (and pink was just.too.much.fun)


 We had the pleasure of catching our beloved family friends, the Webbs, for dinner one Sunday as they travelled back home & passed through our town.  All of our little ones & some pancakes for dinner & some sweet fellowship.  We love the Webbs!



James has come home from preschool telling us that he's 'allergic' to girls, but we laughed to see him very insistent on sitting next to AK!  She wasn't so sure she wanted to sit by him... but she relented.  haha, they are the sweetest.



I am so thankful for all the beauty that surrounds me as I pass through my days.


I love catching my little guys playing together, working together or just enjoying each other's company.  It seemed like I found quite a few of those moments, in the sand box, at the chalk board, in the driveway, on the couch, playing on the floor, and in the bathtub.  I feel as if my heart swells in that brief moment, even if it evaporates into a fight & ends in tears.  I love these days.


I am happy for the sun to set a little earlier, to make bedtimes easier, and to give us all a little more rest in the increasing demands of our schedule.  We have noticed our boys doing much better now that we are using 'early bed time' as a recourse when our boys have days that lack emotional control.  What a blessing to see how much better than can manage those emotions when they are better rested.

but ice cream dates with our neighbors are lovely when the sun sets later.  every now & then. :-)


I couldn't help but laugh at this one, my boys perusing magazines.


And my sweet.middle.little.  This was not a traumatic even, as it appears, but just a fleeting moment of frustration.  I see this face often, of the faces of all three of my boys, and I don't want to forget it.  It is sweet, and thankfully, mommy can almost always help sort it out at these ages.  I'm so grateful.


We all ran up to the park one day & it was too beautiful to not take lots of pictures of my fellas.  So I did.  That is a fun way to break up a 'family run'.


My.Haddie.  He is the sweetest child.  I just adore his sandy, golden, strawberry colored hair & brown eyes.  He is so handsome!  I see so much of his daddy in his face.  Hayden has been working on sleeping through the night without his pullups this month, so that is a challenge for all!  He has made some progress, but definitely still working on it.  What a crazy feeling, to have two out of diapers & one about half way through his diaper days!  Amazing.  Hayden has the best manners, and is the first one to say please&thankyou.  He has had the best hugs from Calvin of anybody & even kisses!  He has started to skip some of his afternoon naps (ah!!) but thankfully, I think the more he's resting (and early bedtimes) the better he's doing with his naps.  I'm not ready for that change yet!  But boy oh boy, he seems so grown up all the sudden.








Sadly, we lost one Elefante this month.  We have looked high&low, cleaned the house&car, called every store & searched school&church.  He is no where to be found, but I'm so glad to still have one!  (if you see him, will you return him to us!?)


Calvin has decided he's big like his brothers, and should eat at the table now, as well as up on the barstools. !  yes, he tries to climb up & have his snacks, and he just looks so sweet up in these big seats when he is so little still.  love this guy.


Apples for munching makes a lovely teether.


National 'talk like a pirate day' at Krispy Kreme may be my favorite 'pretend' holiday of all.  I don't really pay much attention to the 'national day of whatever' normally, but on this day, you get free donuts.  I pay attention to that! haha


We spent one rainy morning at the zoo, with a picnic & rain jackets.  We will take our rainboots next time for all the puddles we accidentally splashed.  We got soaked & we had a blast.


Apples & peaches & their favorite cartoon.


A 5th birthday party & cake, fun, & friends!


James is practicing writing his name, so all the boys wanted to write on the chalkboard.  precious, sweet, and ended up in a fight over who erased the 'L' and whose turn it was to write. haha


Oh.MY.  I cannot wait for James' first Tball game.  His uniform came in & seeing him all dressed up made me just about explode with that surreal, giddy joy.  It is a the funniest thing to see him looking so big, and so much like his daddy!


And then of course there was Wacky Wednesday at preschool & he was definitely 4 again. ;-)


Calvin has learned to say 'cheese' & continues to squish up his face and say, "EE" when I hold up my phone to take his picture.  It is adorable.  and he does a pretty cute face!


And then there's this.  He thinks he should be able to open the fridge himself.  hilarious.  (pull!)


goodbye September.  Fall, you are welcome to come anytime now. whenever you'd like.  ;-)