a little (a lot) of our Cal

Warning: many pictures of my cutie Cal about to flood the feed...

So I can't help it.  My sweet 3 month old baby boy letting us see his personality & showing off all kinds of new tricks.

Sleeping through the night!!  Rock star status = bedtime 7/7:30 pm - 5:30/6 am with another stretch of sleep till 7:30... (this is not typical, I'm just a happy momma).  He's done this now maybe half a dozen times, and I'll take it!! every time.  ;-)

I had no idea he had such a silly, cute, pointy tongue!  It makes me laugh&laugh.

We said good bye to our baby swing & have moved up to the jumpy, bouncy, thingy.  So far, he sits with his bear & bunny as his back support, but he does love the piano keys & lights already.  He's getting the hang of it at 3.5 months!

He has been having so much fun on his play mat & really starting to scoot, reach, grab, turn, & roll.

a reach... & a grab!

Sitting up in the bumbo with his nervous nelly of a momma making sure his heavy little noggin doesn't overpower his neck, haha.

making it up to 90 degrees while on his tummy!

My favorite: the toe grab!!  I can't get enough of this phase, I just love love it.  and the sucking on fingers, its precious.

Fighting to get that roll from back to belly... this series doesn't capture it, but the very next day he made it when I was changing his sheets in this crib!  Amazing to see it become so simple to him in only a few days.

And another Fav: thumb sucking!  haha, neither of his brothers did this (much) but loved their pacis.  Jury is still out on whether or not the thumb will actually soothe for sleep, but for now, I'm enjoying watching him suck his thumb - its just so cute.

give.good.gifts.

"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

Matthew 7:11

To give good gifts.  I have this goal for my children - that I would be able to give them good gifts.  There are so many ways in this life that I can choose to bless my children.  To give my best in cleaning my house, yes.  To cook good food for them, yes.  To allow the mess that comes in creativity & normal play time, yes.  To let them use the play doh, no.  I mean yes.  ;-)  

To move to be near family, YES.  To give them the opportunity to make memories, our Lord is so gracious, yes.  

Oh so.many.days. being at home with my children feels hard.  But, then I think of how different my life could be if I had to work, and I can't help but feel grateful for the struggle.  I am so glad to give them the gift of myself - although that gift doesn't seem that good most days if I'm honest!  But then I crawled into bed with James for snuggles during a thunderstorm & heard his breathing change to slow&easy.  Oh Lord, who am I - that my presence would calm&soothe.  Lord, that is your grace to me because I don't deserve it.

I want to give good gifts.  The tangible, yes.  But moreover, the intangible.  Lord, your gifts.

self.control.

I have been wrestling with some major tantrums at my house lately - my 2 year old, my 3 year old, my SELF.  We've all been fighting for some self control during these periods of high.emotion.  I keep asking myself: how can I effectively teach my sons self-control when I have to fight so hard myself?  I must teach them to feel the emotions of life - and remain in control of how they act.  to not be tossed about by the waves.

To turn those emotions over to the Lord.  to give them up to him.  to take their hurts & frustrations & anger & resentment & pain and give it up to him.  Lord let them see me fail & then give it to him.  because I do.  everyday.

The emotions of this life are not bad.  The inability to control one's self is the challenge.  Poignantly, feeling the emotions does not mean failure, it is what you do when they hit.  Somedays I think more than half of the battle is to really seek to TEACH through those moments of tears & tantrums & screaming & yelling.  How to give them the reigns over emotions that run wild?

Lord teach me to master my own emotions - to feel the anxiety of my chaos and choose the better for those I love.  To feel the anger in the moments they disobey and defy  and choose the better in discipline where they are shown restoration & love.  Can I be the go-between for my sons & PRAY in the times of struggle more than just a cry for my own perseverance?  Lord help my soul to be still in the midst so that I may feel the emotion & not be ruled by it.  Help me model for my sons how to push through disappointment & hurt & fear & embarrassment.

I am so grateful for the book, Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic who has been able to create a short & sweet book that rocks me each time I read & re-read.  A Christian mother should be someone who points to Christ - who models leaning hard on Jesus & can show how to live grace.  I have been spurred on by her words & thoughts.  The Lord has used this book to refine me in ways I never anticipated.  Check her out at www.feminagirls.com

Additionally, I would recommend Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp has been a great resource that I keep referring back to as well.  Almost more of a 'how to' discipline your child & what God calls us to as parents.  I love how he defines the punishable offenses as 'sin' and the act of disciplining the child as 'restoration' between the child & parent.  It truly has given me the confidence to proceed with GRACE towards my sons when they sin against me - if only I could be a perfect mother in this respect.  but I will continue to be refined myself through all these moments which test me.