self.control.

I have been wrestling with some major tantrums at my house lately - my 2 year old, my 3 year old, my SELF.  We've all been fighting for some self control during these periods of high.emotion.  I keep asking myself: how can I effectively teach my sons self-control when I have to fight so hard myself?  I must teach them to feel the emotions of life - and remain in control of how they act.  to not be tossed about by the waves.

To turn those emotions over to the Lord.  to give them up to him.  to take their hurts & frustrations & anger & resentment & pain and give it up to him.  Lord let them see me fail & then give it to him.  because I do.  everyday.

The emotions of this life are not bad.  The inability to control one's self is the challenge.  Poignantly, feeling the emotions does not mean failure, it is what you do when they hit.  Somedays I think more than half of the battle is to really seek to TEACH through those moments of tears & tantrums & screaming & yelling.  How to give them the reigns over emotions that run wild?

Lord teach me to master my own emotions - to feel the anxiety of my chaos and choose the better for those I love.  To feel the anger in the moments they disobey and defy  and choose the better in discipline where they are shown restoration & love.  Can I be the go-between for my sons & PRAY in the times of struggle more than just a cry for my own perseverance?  Lord help my soul to be still in the midst so that I may feel the emotion & not be ruled by it.  Help me model for my sons how to push through disappointment & hurt & fear & embarrassment.

I am so grateful for the book, Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic who has been able to create a short & sweet book that rocks me each time I read & re-read.  A Christian mother should be someone who points to Christ - who models leaning hard on Jesus & can show how to live grace.  I have been spurred on by her words & thoughts.  The Lord has used this book to refine me in ways I never anticipated.  Check her out at www.feminagirls.com

Additionally, I would recommend Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp has been a great resource that I keep referring back to as well.  Almost more of a 'how to' discipline your child & what God calls us to as parents.  I love how he defines the punishable offenses as 'sin' and the act of disciplining the child as 'restoration' between the child & parent.  It truly has given me the confidence to proceed with GRACE towards my sons when they sin against me - if only I could be a perfect mother in this respect.  but I will continue to be refined myself through all these moments which test me.