Little.Fish. swimming with sharks.

having a goldfish snack with my James shark

Sometimes this life just feels as though I am a Little.Fish. with sharks swimming all.around.me.  It can feel as though I've failed before I've even begun - eaten alive by my own un-met expectations.  Defeated by my own inner voice.

It is so.easy. to fall into the trap & lie that 'I'd better get it together' because 'everything is a mess'.  When really?  It is only my.attitude. that is a mess.  and don't I always try my own strength first?  Attempting to carry all my own burdens until they crush me before I turn to the Lord & cry out for strength & peace & wisdom?

My heart can be so focused on fixing my failure, solving my own problems, hiding my shortcomings, that I lose sight of what's really important.  Choosing my children first, and my house keeping second.  Not blaming them for all that isn't, but embracing them in.everything.that.is.  because honestly?  I have a threshold for chaos, and when I hit my personal ceiling (everyday, haha), suddenly EVERYTHING is wrong all.at.once.

sharks say, "rrraaaaahhhh!!" (and have claws)

I am not saying that I don't actually fix what needs to be or neglect chores for the sake of being 'low key'.  BUT if I don't have a gracious attitude, if I can't give to my family, serve them, with a cheerful heart, then what.am.I.actually.giving??

the 'surprised' Hayden shark

Swimming with sharks doesn't stop.  I will continue to swim with these sharks for years to come - worry, anxiety, stress, fear.  and I will continue to wrestle for joy.  I'm so grateful for my wonderful husband & sweet friends who can help rescue me from the jaws when I've been unable to shake the sharks on my tail.  What a relief, when battles feel BIG and but someone enters in to my struggle with me & helps bring freedom.  and that- is why COMMUNITY is so important.

taking my shark for a walk around the block

We learn so much from one another.  I love the knowledge & peace that comes from  reading & studying, but that knowledge comes alive when I share it with those around me.  Shouldn't all Little.Fish. swim in a school?? (is that taking my topic to an extreme... haha)

I recently saw my boys stand up to some bullies at the playground.  It was really amazing for me to watch as my son was very clear & firm in his response to the bully's demand.  "No."  He didn't fuss, or whine, or cry.  He didn't give in, get pushed out of his seat, give up.  He was not unkind.  He looked that shark in the eye & said, "No."

my sharks staring down playground bullies

Can my boy teach me how to do that too?? ;-)  I'm so grateful for the ocean.of.grace that I'm swimming in for all the mistakes I make in this life.